wat bout pragnant strippers??
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
