he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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