very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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