I want to stick my p in your. b.
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
