I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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