you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
