i just identified you from a description of your pipe
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize