i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
