I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize