So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
