im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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