Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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