Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Quick, to the slutcave!
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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