I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize