That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
