this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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