My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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