a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
pray to the hookup gods
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
