So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
