is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I currently don't understand fingers.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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