I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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