he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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