There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Two words: blizzard sex
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
