So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
