you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
