I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
