Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
I did not marry a roomba.
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