I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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