If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
