Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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