Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
