I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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