Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Randomize
