Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
