whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
