I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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