my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize