I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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