Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
