You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
