so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
