if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
