You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
