dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
