He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
