I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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