Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
