I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
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