mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
