I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
