Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize