So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
