watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
YAS. BRING CRAB.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
