Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
