This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
