We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
