you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
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