Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
