Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
