I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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