so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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