Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
