Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
