If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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