Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
