i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
