I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
