ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
