This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
